{"id":4813,"date":"2015-01-01T19:57:48","date_gmt":"2015-01-02T03:57:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/eugenehallidayarchive.com\/?p=4813"},"modified":"2025-01-23T19:11:33","modified_gmt":"2025-01-24T03:11:33","slug":"19-on-being-here-now-or-hey-where-you-bin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/eugenehallidayarchive.com\/?p=4813","title":{"rendered":"19. On Being Here Now … or, \u201cHey! Where you ‘bin?\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

“Reality is that which, when you\u2019ve stopped believing in it, doesn\u2019t go away.\u201d<\/p>\n

Philip K Dick<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

+++++++++<\/p>\n

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\u201cSo!! (He nods)<\/em> And now that you\u2019re finally here! What then is<\/strong> the most important thing for you to bear in mind for the future? (He pauses for a moment, and begins to pace slowly – considering his answer. He turns around rapidly, before continuing on).<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Well! \u2026And as you now realize \u2026 Whatever it is that you eventually decide that you\u2019re going to do next \u2026 The only way it\u2019s going to be possible for you to actually <\/strong>make any real <\/strong>progress down here, is<\/strong> by Working\u2026 And you also seem to have grasped\u2026finally<\/strong> .. that anything else you might do here, doesn\u2019t (He pauses and looks upward as if seeking inspiration)<\/em> \u2026 \u2018really count\u2019 \u2026 (He gestures to one side and lowers his voice) <\/em>If I can put it that way\u2026 (He looks directly up and raises his voice slightly)<\/em> Does it? \u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Everything<\/strong> you do in your life – your reactions; all your decisions, however minor… Your\u2026 \u2018unconscious complicity\u2019\u2026 we might say \u2026 All this – deliberate or not – will inevitably produce some<\/strong> result \u2026 Some<\/strong> consequence \u2026 However trivial you might consider it to be \u2026(He smiles warmly)<\/em> If – in fact – you ever get around to considering it at all!\u2026(He pauses and goes on to almost repeat what he has just said before making his final point).<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

However insignificant these consequences may appear to you \u2026 However unimportant \u2026 and \u2026willed or not\u2026 these<\/strong> you will ultimately be held accountable for \u2026 Anyway!<\/strong> … (He thrusts his hands up into the air, and then slowly lowers them).<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Look! \u2026 For the moment at least \u2026 let me add that I do sympathize with you here somewhat\u2026 But was it really all that surprising for you to discover that claiming you were unable (or more likely unwilling) to take responsibility for your life, doesn\u2019t mean that – as a consequence of this \u2019inability\u2019 of yours – you aren\u2019t <\/strong>responsible for it?\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

So why don\u2019t just you try and get used to the idea? (He half sings)<\/em> \u2018Always look on the bright side of life.\u2019 (He grins)\u2026<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Now that you find yourself here<\/strong> \u2026Now that you\u2019ve finally arrived<\/strong> at this point \u2026 You might just as well \u2018have a go\u2019! \u2026 Because\u2026 when all is said and done \u2026 What exactly would you say your alternatives are?<\/span><\/p>\n

One of the real problems that you will need to tackle next then? \u2026 Or should I say \u2013 better – the only<\/strong> serious problem that you will need to bear in mind from this point on? – At least for the foreseeable future? (He purses his lips and at the same time tilts his head upwards).<\/span><\/em>\u2026 Well\u2026 this would be that any attempt on your part to Work, will – almost invariably – only ever be successful after you have managed to convince yourself that you believed you already knew all about what it is that you have now, freely chosen \u2026 at last<\/strong> \u2026 to begin Working upon!\u2026 (He grimaces as if indicating how difficult that might be to grasp\u2026He continues on slowly)<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

It is almost as if – on reaching this point – you have now come to realize that you already understand everything you need to understand\u2026. And that any \u2018wisdom\u2019 you do<\/strong> believe you have been privy to in the past is not really going to be of any further assistance to you from now on \u2026 Because there is no longer anything else that you need to know.. (He begins to pace, picking up speed slowly). \u2026 <\/em>To realize that any further effort here by you in this direction will simply make matters more complex for you than they need to be, and would \u2026 ultimately \u2026 only result in you simply squandering a portion of your remaining, finite, resources. \u2026 Resources that you will almost certainly need if you are to continue on here and attempt to make any more significant <\/strong>progress in all this, that is\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

Bearing in mind of course that – as now you fully accept it\u2019s only you who can decide whether or not to engage in these \u2018efforts\u2019; decide whether they are worthwhile or not, your problems will, almost invariably from this point on, present themselves to you – in a very reasonable manner – as something that \u2018doesn\u2019t really <\/em>need to be engaged in\u2019 \u2026 not right now\u2026 <\/em>not \u2018this minute\u2019\u2026 <\/em>anyway.<\/span><\/p>\n

Which means of course that you are now in very real danger of actually <\/strong>going backwards\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

You have reached the point where you must exercise real care in any future choices you decide to make. \u2026 You\u2019ve been (He pauses as if considering his next words carefully)<\/em> what might be called, \u2018going up\u2019 until now. And a certain amount of wasted energy and repetition is natural during this part of your journey\u2026 So \u2013 for the moment at least – there was always some justification for the things that you did \u2026 a legitimate \u2018excuse\u2019 for wasting valuable time and resources, as it were<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2026 But you are now – if I can continue using this metaphor – beginning to move \u2026 \u2018downwards\u2019\u2026 Falling towards that \u2026 inevitable final\u00e9 \u2026 so to speak \u2026 And a consequence of this is that you will begin to experience states of – what might be called – \u2018acceleration\u2019 \u2013 such that your life seems to be \u2018passing you by\u2019 ever faster and faster\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

And thus, even you can now see that – for most of the time at least – you are merely repeating yourself at ever more decreasing intervals \u2026 Sadly \u2026 but eventually then, you become \u2026 just \u2026 well \u2026 very \u2026 boring.<\/strong> \u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

And being boring down here is the ultimate \u2026Cardinal \u2026 Sin\u2026 At least during this stage in the game – I\u2019m afraid\u2026 (He looks around and begins pacing again, manifesting a air of staged concern, continuing to speak further, almost as an afterthought).<\/em> And if you end up in this position then, regrettably, \u2018your services will simply \u2026 no longer be required\u2019 in all this (He stops and shrugs, half-smiling).<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

And the consequences of that<\/strong> \u2026 will be that the lever \u2013 the one that opens the lid of that crocodile pit you\u2019ve been standing directly over all this time – will be pulled.. (He laughs, and puts his arms together, opening and closing the space between his hands as if imitating the movement of a crocodile\u2019s mouth)..<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Finally \u2026 for now\u2026 and not to put you off too<\/strong> much \u2026I repeat \u2026 the \u2018decision\u2019 by you to embark further on this task of Working is no automatic guarantee that you will now make any\u2026 actual<\/strong> \u2026progress \u2026(He has stopped pacing and is now looking away. He turns suddenly<\/em>) … At all! \u2026 <\/strong>But you are<\/strong> required to at least make the effort\u2026 If you really do want to figure in all this, that is.<\/span><\/p>\n

(He is now standing still. He smiles warmly and – as if talking to a small child \u2013 says softly) So! \u2026 <\/em>Are you sitting comfortably? (He pauses) <\/em>Then we\u2019ll begin!\u201d (Lights fade slowly to black)<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

   From ‘Field-notes for Armageddon’ by Bob Hardy<\/span><\/p>\n

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NOTE: Before continuing on here – I would ask those of you who haven\u2019t done so yet to first take the time out to read \u2018On My Decision To Include A Blog With This Archive\u2019 which you can find here<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

In that short piece, I explain briefly (amongst other things) the nature of the obligation that I believe I placed myself under in late 2004 – sometime after I had began construction of the Eugene Halliday Archive\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

I still maintain that the only legitimate approach to \u2018making Eugene Halliday\u2019s Work to become known<\/strong> world-wide\u2019 can only come from accounts of efforts that are firmly, and obviously, centered around first\u2013hand attempts to interact with this material of his. Rather, that is, than from any \u2018ideas\u2019 that various (self-appointed) parties – who have somehow decided that they know what Eugene Halliday \u2018meant\u2019 by \u2018this\u2019, or by \u2018that\u2019 \u2013 are dying to tell us all about. <\/span><\/p>\n

In my opinion, I always found that he was more than \u2018rather good\u2019 at doing this for himself  \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

Initially, at least, my sole intention was not to make Eugene Halliday\u2019s work \u2018known\u2019, but simply to make it freely available. And although I did later go on to agree to help in this task of making Eugene Halliday\u2019s work \u2018known\u2019 I will admit that I hadn\u2019t really considered just how much effort this might actually involve me in; or indeed, if anyone else would be bothering to \u2018lend a hand\u2019 here themselves.<\/span><\/p>\n

However, my situation re my commitment here has recently changed somewhat, and this new situation that I now find myself in will – to some extent at least – condition my future blog postings.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI do my thing, and you do yours,\u201d has always been my preferred method of proceeding with matters like this anyway, and attempting to describe, in detail, my interactions with Eugene Halliday\u2019s material in – for example – the form of this blog, went very much against my natural (that is, inertic) inclinations\u2026 However, I quickly discovered that I it could serve as an excellent  \u2018positive learning experience\u2019 .<\/span><\/p>\n

So ‘It’s all good!’ then \ud83d\ude42 …<\/span><\/p>\n

I would also like to add here, that if what you and I are both doing is similar enough, then I believe we will \u2018resonate\u2019 anyway. And subsequently then, the possibility that you and I might \u2018join forces\u2019 (for part of this journey at least) becomes a real possibility – without the need for any elaborate explanations; or for the memorizing of any special rules; or of involving ourselves in (yet another) pointless hierarchical social situation of one sort or another.<\/span><\/p>\n

Actually, to date, my various accounts of these interactions of mine with Eugene Hallidy\u2019s material have produced responses from one or two people that have already been of immense help to me in all this.. And it might even turn out that together, we will go on to produce something of value (however minor) for others \u2026Or not\u2026 As the case may be.<\/span><\/p>\n

That being the situation as I now see it – for the present at least \u2026 It\u2019s \u2018One more time!\u2019 then\u2026<\/span><\/p>\n

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In my experience, very little that is new can be learnt from being punched in the mouth for a second time by the same person.<\/span><\/p>\n

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It has become more than obvious to me that many of those I have met who claim that they can ‘think’ – although I personally wouldn’t use that term for what it is that they imagine is happening to them here – are actually only ever engaged in rearranging their already firmly established prejudices, simply in order to convince themselves they are ‘now dealing’ with the (never-ending) situation that they find themselves continuously blundering into.<\/span><\/p>\n

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From ‘NOCTURNAL EMISSIONS’<\/span>
\n‘Random Dribbling from the Twilight World of the Undead’<\/span>
\nby Bob Hardy<\/span>
\n(A series of fragments from Bob Hardy’s notebooks – from the late-1970’s to date)<\/span><\/p>\n

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I can\u2019t recall a single instance during the past forty-odd years, when I was completely indifferent to what it was of Eugene Halliday\u2019s that I happened to be listening to, or reading.<\/p>\n

However, very early on in all this (at least 30 or so years ago) as I began to focus more and more upon a discrete number of his ideas, I found that I was also impelled to ponder the following questions, \u201cWhat are the consequences to me of my involvement with these ideas, both in the short-term, and also \u2018over the long haul\u2019? .. Or, as the Liverpool version of this question might have it – \u201cGreat! \u2026 But .. \u2018So what\u2019?…\u201d.<\/p>\n

This attempt by me to throw some light upon what was going on here, wasn\u2019t something that I experienced as arising from some \u2018noble spirit of enquiry\u2019 either. In fact it was far more the case that I found myself, more and more, being prodded in the direction of attempting to answer the following group of closely related questions: \u201cExactly who<\/strong> is having this experience .. What<\/strong> does this material mean to this \u2018who\u2019 \u2026 And why<\/strong> does it do so?\u201d \u2026 \u2026 A group of questions that \u2013 essentially – only \u2018I\u2019 can supply the answers to\u2026 (Although that has never stopped me from \u2018checking out\u2019 what others might be up to here \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

The experience of having these questions almost permanently present in me, has led me to a number of conclusions about what it is that I believe is \u2018going on\u2019 here and \u2018now\u2019\u2026 And (not surprisingly) a significant proportion of any answers that I might have arrived at, have come to me in the form of \u2018language\u2019 \u2026<\/p>\n

If you like, you could say that I seem to \u2018hear\u2019 any answers that I get to them \u2018in my head’ \u2013and not surprisingly I believe, in English.<\/p>\n

But I don\u2019t experience any sense that this is \u2018someone else\u2019 here; I don\u2019t experience it as \u2018the still quiet voice of reason\u2019 or anything spooky like that (\u2018receiving the odd message from ‘the beyond\u2019..). Rather, I have always experienced this as just \u2018me talking to myself\u2019 (or \u2018me interrogating myself\u2019 might be a better way to put it).<\/p>\n

Understanding the meaning of this \u2018language that I \u2018hear\u2019; understanding these answers that I supply to myself, forms the major part of what it is that I actually do. And it is this activity I refer as to \u2018Working\u2019 \u2026 It is also what I believe Eugene Halliday was primarily engaged in. That is, I believe that this is what it was that he was essentially \u2018all about\u2019 \u2026<\/p>\n

The result of this \u2018Working\u2019 \u2013 at least as far as I\u2019m concerned \u2013 is the experience of an increasing depth of meaning for me; an increasing awareness of ‘being’: an ever-more pronounced awareness that I am actively take part in an ever-evolving ‘in-the-now\u2019; that I am more and more conscious of what i like to refer to as my \u2018becoming\u2019.<\/p>\n

The major, essential component of this \u2018active language\u2019 for me, is that it is grounded in one\u2019s \u2018experiences\u2019- and I eventually came to realize that this was actually something of a blessing \u2013 because it meant that the task in hand here for me was essentially a \u2018finite\u2019 one.<\/p>\n

Today I would \u2018ask myself\u2019 the same group of questions that I posed above, somewhat differently, and in the following way, \u201dExactly who<\/strong> is having this experience of being inspired .. What<\/strong> does it mean to them \u2026 And why<\/strong> does it do so? \u2026 Is it my \u2018genuine\u2019 self; is it my \u2018authentic\u2019 self; or is there someone else here \u2018in the building with me\u2019 at the moment who is having this experience?\u201d .<\/p>\n

And now (perhaps) you\u2019ll want to ask \u201cAnd what the Hell is that <\/strong>supposed to mean? … !!\u201d<\/p>\n

Well \u2026 supplying some form of answer to that question – I would claim – is the purpose of this blog of mine \u2026 In part at least \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

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I am currently in the process of recording a (reasonably short) video. This will contain the material \u2013 somewhat amended – from a talk that I gave in the UK on the 17th August, 2014.<\/p>\n

At the moment I have called it, \u2018A Personal Approach To Working With Eugene Halliday\u2019s Ideas\u2019 and will (hopefully) be available at the beginning of February.<\/p>\n

Addenda: Here is the link:<\/p>\n